


spaces between you and me

by ElasticElla



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/F, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-14
Updated: 2015-07-14
Packaged: 2018-04-09 09:27:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4343222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElasticElla/pseuds/ElasticElla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I should have- I should have,” the words die in Kali's throat, and the glass clatters to the floor. “Julia?” she asks, barely believing the shift in the air.</p>
            </blockquote>





	spaces between you and me

“I should have- I should have,” the words die in Kali's throat, and the glass clatters to the floor. “Julia?” she asks, barely believing the shift in the air. 

Julia swears under her breath, and crosses the room swiftly. Her hands tangle in Kali's hair instead of around her throat, her lips slamming up into a brutal approximation of a kiss. 

“It's Jennifer now,” she says after, and Kali barely manages a nod. 

 

The problems don't come until after Deucalion's dead. Before they team up together, taking down the Alpha of Alphas as easy as breathing, and she forgot how much stronger she was with Ju- _Jennifer_. They attack in sync, Jennifer's new powers a tickle in the corner of her eye, lighting up the warehouse. Her pride doesn't want to admit she was fooled into murdering all but one of her pack, but she's sure she wasn't stronger with the other Alphas. She won't think about them, any of them.

It's when they aren't bent on revenge that things get messy, that certain things refuse to stay put under the rug. Screaming matches blossom over nothing in the first apartment they bought together, the one Kali couldn't live in after she thought Julia was dead. (Julia _is_ dead.) The fights never turn violent, at most end with sharp bloody kisses, and Kali knows Jennifer would win if it came to it. It's an unsettling bit of knowledge that Kali isn't sure what to do with. 

Three weeks into domestic not-bliss, Kali can't take it anymore. She's already destroyed half the surrounding forest on runs, and she can't live like this. This isn't anything like before, isn't anything close to what she dared to dream of. This isn't what she wanted. 

“Well maybe you shouldn't have tried to kill me,” Jennifer spits out, and it doesn't matter that it has nothing to do with whose turn it is to do the dishes, the sentiment's been oozing for the past weeks. 

“So did you,” Kali says, ice slipping into her voice.

Jennifer smiles, cruel and thin, “You did it first.” 

“How long are you going to hold onto that?” 

Jennifer laughs, “Because murder attempts are just like forgetting an anniversary or not mowing the lawn.” 

Kali drags a hand through her hair, “Why are we even trying this then? I thought...”

“Because I love you.” 

Kali deflates, and she thinks maybe they still have a chance. 

 

The quasi-peace holds for twenty-seven hours. It breaks, and Kali packs up her things. It breaks, and Kali can feel her hopes shatter.

Jennifer sits on her bed, projecting enough distress to slow her movements, and Kali wishes she thought it wasn't another manipulation.

“You can't leave me, please Kali. Where are you going to go?” Jennifer implores her, wringing her hands.

“Who cares?” Kali shoots back, anger coloring her words. “Maybe I'll try my luck in Beacon Hills again.” 

Jennifer shivers, “Baby please. No one could love you like I do, please I know we can do this.” 

Kali trembles at her words, at the even beat of her heart under them. She slumps down onto the bed, Jennifer wrapping her arms around her tightly. She's giving in too easy, she knows it but can't help herself.

“Fine,” Kali murmurs, “but we need to be happy. It can't all be for nothing.”

“Of course,” Jennifer whispers into her neck. “I'm sorry, I was stuck on the past. I can do better, we can be better.” 

Kali nods, but the knot in her stomach doesn't loosen.

 

Things are better, on the surface at least. There's a new space between them, or perhaps Kali hadn't noticed it before. She isn't really happy, but she's happier than normal and that's good enough. It doesn't hurt that Jennifer actually seems to be happy. She keeps trying not to think of Jennifer as a brand new person, but it's hard not to, Julia was so different. Julia would have noticed the space, would have found a way to cure it. 

(She'll never truly love Jennifer, a thought she can only barely admit to herself, alone and half-asleep. The other half she can't think of at all: she misses Julia.)

Things are better, in a routine kind of way. Jennifer gets hired at the local high school, teaching literature to juniors and seniors. She comes home with hastily written papers to grade, and points out amusing typos. Kali doesn't want a job, but she can't stand their stale apartment for hours on end. She finds work in private security, and the irony is bitter on her lips. For appearances she learns how to fire a gun, spending more and more time at the range. (She's a natural of course, can hit the target anywhere even without her extra powers.)

If she were a different type of woman, she'd have an affair. There's a gorgeous woman who works at the gun range with thick teal hair and a promising smile. Kali doesn't learn her name as a basic precaution, but it doesn't stop her from flirting. If Jennifer were a wolf, she'd already be suspicious. Then again, if Jennifer were a wolf, she'd know Kali's heart hadn't been hers for quite some time. 

They should break up, it's not a question. 

But Kali doesn't want to be alone, and Jennifer's words (not Julia's, Julia would never) keep winding their way around her ears. They echo and distort- but they're all true, and Kali can't fight them. 

Kali kisses Jennifer with her eyes and mind closed. With just scent and feel and sound and taste, she could almost be kissing Julia. Jennifer's lips are harsher, kisses more demanding, but Kali makes the fantasy stretch to fit. Julia just had a bad day, she'd feel better, sated soon. 

They unpack the last box together after living in the apartment for a month. Everything is surface perfect, and Jennifer squeezes her hand tightly. 

Kali's home again, settled, and nothing could make her leave now.


End file.
